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Dating in a Cisgender Society

Dating in a Cisgender Society

Dating in a Cisgender Society

This blog examines one experience I went through when presented with the opportunity to date someone who was not cisgender. The experience left me with more questions than answers, but questions that I think should be explored. 

1 comment (Add your own)

1. anonymous wrote:
If I came across this blog entry, and I didn't have a face to face personal relationship with Victor, I would think, yep, to be expected. I'd feel it was an honest step a gay cisgendered man was taking to be more present in his mind and body by putting his own transphobia out there, publically.

But I didn't come across it; Victor asked me to read it; it came up in conversation after I disclosed that I am an FTM faggot. I responded to it, personally, in an email and Victor said if I was comfortable would I consider posting my response here? I liked what I said, but after a couple of weeks thinking about what I wrote him and then thinking about how I felt about the position/my words being public, I couldn't bring myself to post those words here. The main reason is that they were for a cisgendered gay man I wanted to sleep with.

I'm pasting a link that shows how transgendered and transsexual men and women who are gay have to deal with body heirarchies within cisgendered gay culture and within queer culture. http://feministing.com/2012/06/28/enough-with-i-date-women-and-trans-men/

What I'd like to say about sex and gender and race and ability is that when everyone, everyone, has their first sexual experiences, it is awkward, and often we said, "I'm scared," or "I'm nervous." How cute, sexy, smart and real. What is it about being in that place again, once we've had sex, that is not appealing to us? Is it a healthy, happy sex life when everything is known, familiar and robotic? So here's to all readers, or people at large, finding themeselves in different sexual or desire landscapes! Thank god you're not the walking dead.

Sat, June 30, 2012 @ 1:54 PM

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